


buried in broken dreams

by emptyswimmingpools



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Communication, I Love Magnus Bane So Much Please Protect Him, Implied Sexual Content, Insecurity, Introspection, Kinda Pathetic Fallacy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 04:34:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11433264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emptyswimmingpools/pseuds/emptyswimmingpools
Summary: Together, they were lightning.





	buried in broken dreams

Together, they were lightning. Unstoppable electricity running through their veins, between their bodies as their bare skin pressed together. The way Magnus’s fingertips tingled as they ran through Alec’s hair was beyond his magic - it was static energy surging through him, hips jolting, mouth gasping. This desperation was so unbearable it squeezed at his lungs, like perhaps with his lips against Alec he could finally breathe again.

 

Magnus could feel Alec’s quickening heartbeat against his own chest - or was that his? - but his hands were shaking around Magnus’s waist and his cheeks were delicately flushed and - God, how was he so pretty? How was he _Magnus’s_? He’d known his own worth for quite sometime, but it still seemed impossible that someone like Alec could want him. Or maybe his worth was slipping through his fingers again…

 

On his own, Magnus Bane felt an awful lot like the rain. Like Gods’ tears drenching the Earth in their sorrows, he was prone to ruining people’s days rather than aiding them. For perhaps it wasn’t holy water coming from the sky, but rather acid or poison that would penetrate people’s skin and erode their insides.

 

400 years was an awful lot of time to grow accustomed to feeling guilty. It was a shame it still gnawed away at his entire being, like it was its own separate being that could throw physical punches at his gut, his heart. All he could think about sometimes was the blood on his mother’s sheets, the knife in her abdomen - the single image on repeat like a broken record.

 

Alec’s hands moved slowly from Magnus’s waist to his face, breaking their kiss; though he wanted to, Magnus couldn’t quite meet his eyes. “Magnus?”

 

“Yes, darling?”

 

“Are you _sure_ you’re OK?” Alec asked with such sincerity, such intimacy, that Magnus felt an awful lot like crying. Perhaps Alec was thunder: strong, sharp and a phenomenon that drew attention. His boldness, a consequence of lightning. But above all, he was a God.

 

He breathed in, out. Tried to focus on making his voice steady. “I’m--” His head turned down, eyes meeting his lap (clad in three-day trousers). “I’m fine.”

 

“But you look like you’re about to cry?” Alec said, though it sounded a lot more like a question, like he didn’t want to pressure Magnus into agreeing. God, he loved him. Still, he shook his head, not trusting himself with words, tongue tied at the back of his throat in fear. “Am I that bad of a kisser, or?” he teased.

 

Magnus forced a smile. He’d been doing it for what felt like decades, he wanted to truly feel happy again, to not be so perpetually haunted by his past to the point where he felt overcome by his own head.

 

“I know I’m not the best at, like, talking,” started Alec, “but I’m here for you, Magnus. And a wise man once told me: ‘when things get crazy, don’t push me away’.”

 

He forced himself to choke out, “He seems very intelligent.” He knew Alec could see right through him, had been asking for _days_ on end if he was OK. There was worry in his eyes whenever Magnus looked at him, and he always hesitated before speaking, like his words might hurt him. It made Magnus feel more fragile, but maybe, just maybe, it was OK to be fragile with Alec. There wasn’t an unrelenting pressure to be strong at all times. He could just - _be_.

 

Alec smiled. “He is. And he’s strong, too. I know he can get through whatever’s bothering him. But you - _he_ \- also doesn’t have to tell me anything he doesn’t want to, so…”

 

“I never wanted you to see this terrible, ugly side of me. I thought maybe I could hide it, bury it in the sand but - that agony rune brought back memories I’ve been trying to forget for hundreds of years.”

 

“Well, I want to know every side of you. If you’ll let me?”

 

Magnus could only smile.

**Author's Note:**

> So, it's been an _entire year_ since I last posted in this fandom. And this is less than 1k words because I dislike it but couldn't bear to edit/add to it any longer. Oops?
> 
> I didn't want to talk about Magnus's backstory in immense detail because reasons. But just so you know, they have a very healthy discussion and Alec is supportive af. :^)
> 
> Yell at me on [Tumblr](http://albertorosedne.tumblr.com/). Title from [The Other Side](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVJp307TNTY) by Ruelle, because I'm basic, apparently.


End file.
